How to a treat a child

I am very good with children. I make this claim based on the fact any child I meet and interact with, end up liking me in a short time. I have a calming effect on babies (except for an incident of a Japanese baby, who was not familiar with men with mustache, bursting into tears on seeing me!). I am sure you have seen video clips of politicians who make make crying babies calm down (like President Obama) or vice versa (like Donald Trump). While I am proud about this talent, I do not think it is a God given talent. I think anybody who follow a few basic norms about child interaction can be as good as me. Here they are:

·         Be relaxed when you carry a baby. I am convinced that babies can sense the tension in you, and they get affected by it. When you pick up a crying baby realize that the baby is most probably upset about something just happened, and it is a matter of distracting the baby to something else. There is nothing to be tense about it.

·         Do not invade the body space of the child. When seeing a smiling baby, it is a normal urge to grab and kiss or pat the cheeks of the baby. We forget that we are intruding into their safe body space when we do that. Remember how uncomfortable we get if someone grabs our hand or gives a big hug when meeting us for the first time.  Kneeling at a safe distance and talking softly to the child is the way to go.

·         Never raise your voice to a child. Of course, babies do a lot of ‘wrong’ things, and you have to teach them not to do them. But saying ‘No, No!’ with a raised voice is not the way to do it. If the child is under two, the best way is to distract but never admonish as the child is too young for your lectures about right and wrong. Loud voice only helps to startle the child and feel uncomfortable about your presence.

·         Talk to the child at the same level. Do not pepper the child with long comments and questions right away. I usually watch the child for a few minutes, and ask an easy to answer question like ‘is that your only toy car?’ The trick is to make the child feel that he/she knows a few things we do not know, and we are willing to learn from them :)

My daughter jokes that her children (a six year old and a one year old) consider me as their ‘servant’ as they can order me around. It is OK as I enjoy children very much.   

Polish the right thing!

Here in USA, everyone is waiting in anticipation for the first Presidential debate the coming Monday between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Despite a rate of at least one controversy a day, Trump has been catching up on Clinton in polls. The debate is the event Clinton is expected to put away Trump for good. ‘Attack Trump’, ‘fluster him by making fun of him’, are some of the advice of columnists and expert consultants. I strongly feel that this strategy of attacking Trump is exactly the wrong one. By concentrating on Trump, Clinton will play right into the hands of Trump the master showman excellent in changing the topic and using the time to accuse the opposition (Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio should concur) People already know that Trump is a racist who lies and cheats to get what he wants. The problem they have is in casting their votes for Hillary Clinton who has come across as secretive, devious and too ambitious (for a woman?)! Despite of her numerous listening tours and town meetings, she is the one who is ‘out of touch’ with the working class while Trump, who hops from crowded rallies to rallies in his private jet, has the support of the majority of the working class white. Unless she comes across as ‘likable’ in the debate, Clinton is going to lose this election. Forget that she is the most experienced candidate ever to run for office of the President while Trump is the least qualified ever to run. People vote for someone they can have beer with, ignoring the fact they will never get anywhere close a President for it (ex. Bush vs Gore). So what Hillary has to do in the debate is to answer every question demonstrating her knowledge of how it affects the ‘common people’, and what she will do for the betterment of it. Yes, she has to smile a bit also, however sexist that advice may be.

Again, do not waste time polishing zingers for Trump; work on polishing your image instead! 

What you see is what you get!

Senate hearings are going on in Philippines about the drastic increase in killings of suspected criminals under the new President Rodrigo Duterte. Since taking office in May this year, Duterte started a ‘war on drugs’ with implicit encouragement for vigilante killings which so far has resulted in over 3000 dead. The latest testimony was from an assassin who said that as a mayor, Duterte ordered him and other death squad members to kill hundreds of criminals, drug users and political opponents (Duterte was the mayor of Davao for 24 years). According to reports, "Duterte's political success has been aided by his vocal support for the extrajudicial killing of drug users and criminals. Nicknamed "The Punisher" by Time, he has been tied to an alleged vigilante group called the Davao Death Squad by human rights organizations." Still people of Philippines voted for this thug by an overwhelming majority because they wanted a ‘change’ from the politicians which ran the country. I am sure that a good portion of the people who voted for Duterte, admired his blunt talk and ability to get things done his way. But they did not expect death squads and extrajudicial killings for it. They expected him to change when he became President. The same way the people of Germany let Adolf Hitler come to power expecting him to tone down his hate filled speeches and Mein Kampf! 

Here is USA, people are about to make the same mistake. In Donald Trump they find a smooth talking and confident outsider. At the same time, he openly spouts dangerous ideas like deportation of millions of people, religious segregation, use of nuclear missiles as a weapon, not paying the national debt, hatred for the news media, etc. This does not bother his supporters. ‘He does not mean what he says, and he will change’ is their thinking!  

Watching the wickets fall!

Two of my high school classmates passed away recently. This was followed by the passing of a college-mate last week. Being over seventy, death should not be an unexpected event for me. Now-a-days when I hear the news of a friend or colleague passing, I feel like a cricket batsman watching wickets fall at the other end! I remember my uncle, who was in his seventies, saying, 'consider every year after seventy, a bonus'.  'Enjoy every day as if it is your last day' is a common advice.  But it is difficult to practice. Only when something bad or difficult happens, we appreciate the ‘good old days’.